post nut clarity что это
Post nut clarity что это
момент просветления?
@adelinaleto1 Нельзя ли это перевести «Ясность ума»? Вдруг, как один из переводов подойдет.
Символ показывает уровень знания интересующего вас языка и вашу подготовку. Выбирая ваш уровень знания языка, вы говорите пользователям как им нужно писать, чтобы вы могли их понять.
Мне трудно понимать даже короткие ответы на данном языке.
Могу задавать простые вопросы и понимаю простые ответы.
Могу формулировать все виды общих вопросов. Понимаю ответы средней длины и сложности.
Понимаю ответы любой длины и сложности.
Решайте свои проблемы проще в приложении!
( 30 698 )
Post-Nut Clarity
Aug 18, 2020 · 6 min read
If you have a dick, you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t, allow me to explain.
Let’s meet Timmy. Timmy is a teenage boy. He’s relatively good looking and slightly awkward but in a good way. This combination of factors has allowed him to recently begin talking to Rachel, a girl in his math class (long hair, brown skin, with the-).
After long nights of texting, snapping, and Facetiming, Timmy has somehow summoned up the courage to ask Rachel out.
Now Rachel likes T i mmy a lot. She thinks he’s a great guy, but she doesn’t know if her judgment is being clouded by his washboard abs, curly hair, or 50 thousand Tik Tok followers. Thus, she goes to her girlfriends.
Now the girl council is a secretive thing. Even I, in my all-knowing wisdom, don’t fully understand it. All I know is that after discussion, Timmy is either given a thumbs up or thumbs down.
Girls have this ability, where when they come together in groups, they are somehow able to look past trivialities such as horniness, and they become brutal judges of character.
Guys, however, lack this ability. Remember Plato’s analogy of the human mind. We’ll alter it slightly for this purpose.
The mind of the guy is like a chariot. The charioteer is the intellect, which tries to guide the soul. One of the horses is our rational and moral impulse, the good we are passionate about. This is what makes us love our families, or be Saints football fans (since we know all other football fans are immoral savages).
The other horse is a different breed altogether. This horse is called horniness. (In reality, the other horse is supposed to represent all our mortal and irrational passions, but we’ll simplify this to horniness for now).
Now, how can Timmy tell which of his horses are pulling him towards Rachel? Is he attracted only to her long hair, brown skin, and fat ass (thank you J.Cole)? Or is his attraction to her love, instead of lust?
Simple. He uses the Post Nut Clarity Test.
But Manny! What’s the Post Nut Clarity Test?
Well, I’ll tell you, enthusiastic reader. Here’s a step by step process, narrated by Alec Baldwin (just pretend he’s the one talking when you read this in your head).
The Post Nut Clarity Test
Find a nice comfortable place, like a bed (preferably your own), a bathroom (school bathroom works I guess), or even a tree in the woods (we don’t judge).
Rub one out. Jack off. Wank. Fap. Diddle. Beat your meat. Choke the chicken. Stroke the cactus. Warm up the pole. Masturbate.
As soon as you finish, picture yourself cuddling with the girl in question. In this example, Rachel. Are you horrified and disgusted by yourself? Or do you feel comfortable and relaxed? If it’s the former, sorry soldier, Rachel is nothing more than a hot piece of meat for you. If it’s the latter, however, maybe you do actually like her for more than just her huge badoonks.
This is the phenomenon known as Post Nut Clarity. Once a guy finishes flogging the dolphin, his brain is filled with dopamine, which gives an incredible sense of pleasure.
Once this is passed, however, a veil is lifted from his eyes. The endorphins subside, and all that is left is adrenaline from the experience of jacking off in a parking lot at midnight (again, we don’t judge).
This state, known as postcoital tristesse, endows the guy with an incredible sense of clarity. It’s almost as if the horses have disappeared, and nothing is left but the charioteer and the universe.
Remember the pill from Limitless, with Bradley Cooper? It’s like that. For a couple of quick seconds, you feel like Bradley Cooper. With the long hair and everything. Your mind works at 100%.
It has become a tool guys use for every important decision they need to make. Gonna buy a house? Rub one out. Change of careers? Time to open the private tab. Gonna sign a multi-billion dollar merger between your company and another? Better make sure you got some lotion on hand.
You better believe Woodrow Wilson was going at it in the bathroom of the Palace of Versailles right before he signed the peace treaty to end World War 1. And let me tell you, the Constitutional Convention was 100% a full-on jerking extravaganza.
Post Nut Clarity is a beautiful thing, but like all beautiful things, it comes to an end. It’s a fleeting glimpse of a state of mind unlike any other. But why? Is it just a secret weapon guys have? I mean, girls have incredible, body shaking, repeatable orgasms (or so I’ve been told), as well as boobs. But guys have Post Nut Clarity.
Maybe Post Nut Clarity is a glimpse of Nirvana, the state of enlightenment. It does make us wonder, how else can we achieve the same type of clarity in our daily lives?
Perhaps meditation. Don’t ask me, I don’t know. Try meditating though. Let me know if it works.
Maybe Post Nut Clarity is just another peek at something beyond our own physical world. It can be a way to escape the absurdity and suffering of our daily lives, giving us something to live for, just as music does for many. It’s important that in these times of suffering, we find something to live for, some experience we value.
Take Emil Cioran, the Romanian philosopher who focused on nihilistic existentialism. To him, existence was futile. He, like Nietzsche and Camus, rose up to the challenge of analyzing his own existence.
In doing so, he discovered his own insignificance in relation to the world. However, though his suffering was minuscule compared to the tragedies of history, he refused to renounce it, as his suffering was his only existence.
Each person can only understand their own suffering, as he states. “Who can precisely say that my neighbor suffers more than I do, or that Jesus suffered more than all of us? … Each person remains with his own suffering, which he thinks absolute and limitless… Each subjective existence is absolute to itself. For this reason each man lives as if he were the centre of the universe or of history” ( On the Heights of Despair, p. 33).
Maybe you’re not as pessimistic as Mr. Cioran. But perhaps recently you’ve been feeling insignificant as if your life right now is futile. I mean, what does it all matter?
In times like these, you, like Mr. Cioran, might try to find some sort of meaning in something, in an experience such as Post Nut Clarity. What can make you feel like this, but without forcing you to whip your dick out? (Please don’t masturbate in public areas).
One thing that Emil Cioran found was music. As he told Newsweek magazine, “Bach’s music is the only argument proving the creation of the Universe cannot be regarded as a complete failure” (4 December 1989).
Music is special to us. At some times, it helps us feel at peace, just as jerking off does to guys. As Nietzsche says in Human, All Too Human, “At a certain place in Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, for example, he might feel that he is floating above the earth in a starry dome, with the dream of immortality in his heart; all the stars seem to glimmer around him, and the earth seems to sink ever deeper downwards.”
Just wait until he listens to WAP though. As Cardi B says, “Macaroni in a pot, that’s some-”.